The day my darling was born
by AREYASHI
Summary: It's Kanda's birthday! What's the cursed Allen Walker going to do? Ignore it as expected? Or spend an entire day fumbling around for a gift that the swordsman might like? YULLEN! DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: Kanda x Allen of course!  
Warning: BOY x BOY ! No likey? Then go away!

**Authors Note ; **This is for my beloved Babyboo's birthday! Her favorite pairing is Allen X Kanda as well as mine I hope I didn't -totally- fail at writing this ... But oh well ..

**The birthday of a cold hearted Swordsman . **

**( one shot - part 1/2 )**

Allen frowned automatically upon seeing Kanda in the halls. He knew that once the older man saw him, he would mock him for losing his way in the Black Order again. It's been awhile since Allen first joined the Order, and no matter how hard he tried to memorize the halls, he couldn't seem to find his way ANYWHERE. The only reason he found his way to the cafeteria was because of the sweet smell of the food. When Komui had to speak to them, he would just follow Lenalee or Lavi. And now, since he wanted to take a brief walk because he couldn't sleep, he forgot that it was especially hard to find his way when it was nighttime. Trying to ignore Kanda's presence, he continued walking, hoping Kanda wouldn't notice him. Much to his dismay, the dark haired turned to him, scowling as usual.

"Oi, Bean sprout, what are you doing up in this late hour?"

Allen silently cursed, "just taking a walk, what about you?"

"Just finished training."

The white haired shrugged, "well, I'd better get back to-"

Kanda interrupted him, "you're lost, aren't you?"

"H-hey! No I'm not! I know exactly where my room is!" _How in the world did he know...? _

"Then why are you going that way? Your room is this way, moron."

"I-I... knew that!" He turned around and stomped in the other direction, when Kanda chuckled, a sign that Kanda wasn't done messing with him.

"You really _are _lost, Bean-sprout."

Allen blinked, "what's that supposed to mean? This is the right way!"

"No it's not, it's _that_ way," the tall swordsman answered, pointing in the direction Allen was originally going. The younger man twitched slightly. Usually Allen had a nice, calm and polite composure, but Kanda always seemed to crawl under it and get Allen into a mood he was rarely in with anybody. The only time Allen felt something like this was when he was with Cross, but he wouldn't dare answer back and get angry at him. On the outside, anyway.

"That was the direction I was going in the first place!"

"Yeah, I know. But _you_ had no idea, did you?"

Allen twitched, and just decided to just go and wander until he found his room, which was pretty hard since all the doors looked the same. He was pissed off at Kanda for making it seem like Allen was just so _predicatable_, and just didn't have the time and patience to deal with him. He brushed past him, ignoring another chuckle from the older man.

He had been wandering around for quit some time now, trying to remember if there was anything about his door that was different than the rest of the others. _'Maybe... oh yeah! I put a strawberry sticker on the corner of it!' _He grinned triumphantly, but it faded when he realized he still had to find out which floor it was on. There were so many floors, so he had to go through them all until he found that strawberry stickered door.

He had made it to another floor when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him, and turned around, glaring immediately when he saw Kanda standing there, a smirk upon his lips. Had Kanda followed him all this way?

"What are you still doing here, following me?"

"My birthday is in two days," Kanda blurted out randomly, his dark eyes staring right into Allen's.

Allen blinked, a bit shocked at the statement. He didn't know everyone's birthdays, but had found out a couple weeks ago that Kanda's would be soon, he just didn't know _how _soon. He wondered what Kanda would like for a present...

"So? Why would I care, Bakanda?"

The dark haired just shrugged and walked ahead, ignoring Allen's little crack at his name. He stopped a couple feet away from him, "don't you want to get to your room? Or will you stand out here all night?"

The white haired scowled, having no choice but to follow him, or he'd be lost until morning. The walk was silent, and awkward for Allen. He didn't know if Kanda ever felt awkward or out of place. Personally, he thought that Kanda might've been quite close to perfection. He had the perfect facial features, perfect poise, not-exactly perfect manners or attitude, but at least knew how to act at times. He had hair that girls would go to great lengths to have, and still not achieve it. Kanda probably the perfect _body _also_._ He was tall and lean, compared to Allen. He wondered if he would stay this short forever...

"We're here, now stop staring at me, Bean-sprout."

The white haired blushed, looking away immediately, only to look back at him to glare, "I-I wasn't!" He shouted, feeling utterly stupid for staring too long and getting caught. He looked up at his door, and was relieved to see the strawberry sticker.

"Liar."

"S-Shut up!" he went into his room and was about to slam the door on Kanda's face, and presence altogether, when he paused, "...thanks for showing me to my room."

The swordsman just shrugged and walked away, a smirk forming on his lips when he heard the door of Allen's room close shut.

"You're welcome, idiot."

- - -

Allen groggily sat up in his bed, trying to rub the sleepiness from his eyes. He woke up late, and had barely enough time to do his chair routine. The white haired sighed, he would just have to do it later today. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and finding his shoes, he walked over to the bathroom, resorting to washing his face to jolt him awake. Had he really stayed up that late? He had stayed awake for about half an hour more or so, thinking about what to get Kanda for his birthday, which was now tomorrow. It was probably the hardest decision in his life. Kanda hated almost everything, and Allen was afraid of getting him something he hated.

He peered into the mirror, narrowing his eyes a little. Why in the world did he want to get Kanda anything, anyway? It's not like Kanda would appreciate it or care and would just throw it away. But, for once, he felt like he wanted to see if Kanda would ever be happy with something he did. When he walked out of his room, he was greeted by Lenalee and Lavi, who were coincidently passing by.

"Hey Moyashi-chan!" Lavi cried, slinging an arm around the younger boy playfully.

"M-Morning..."

"Good morning, Allen-kun," Lenalee smiled, but it faded when she stared at him a little longer, "did you not sleep well? Your eyes are a little dark."

"Oh I just got lost again last night, that's all," Allen smiled nervously, "it's a good thing Kanda found me and showed me to my room."

Lavi grinned, pinching his cheeks, "See? Kanda does care! If he didn't, he wouldn't give a crap if you were out in the cold all night long, now would he?"

Allen winced, pushing the older boy away, "stop that!" He rubbed his sore cheek, "Kanda hates me, so I highly doubt that."

"Speaking of Kanda, it's his birthday tomorrow!" Lenalee piped in. The white haired nodded, "yeah, I know."

The two looked shocked and blinked once, looking to each other, then back at Allen.

"How did you find out?" Lenalee questioned.

Allen wasn't sure why they were so shocked, "um.. he told me yesterday, why?"

"Oh my god! It took me so long to find out! The only reason I know is because I snooped in Komui-neesan's files. And Lavi knows because he asked Kanda how old he was everyday, until the answer changed to 18." Lenalee giggled a little.

Allen chuckled, "that must've been annoying to him, I wonder why he didn't just tell you..."

Lavi frowned, "Yeah! Maybe you're special, that's why he told you and not us."

The smaller boy just blushed and much to his relief, was saved by Lenalee. "What are you guys getting him? I got him some book on meditation." _Lenalee probably didn't know what he liked, either. _

"I... don't really know at the moment," Allen answered.

"I'm going to wrap Allen up in this big pink ribbon and put him in his room!"

The two froze at Lavi's choice of gift. Allen's face turned twenty different shades of red in less than five seconds, and Lenalee burst out laughing. Lavi only grinned at Allen, poking his red cheeks, "what's the matter?"

"You must be crazy, Lavi! Kanda hates my guts! Why in the world would he want _me _as a present?!" he cried, spazzing.

"So its only Kanda's problem with you being the gift? You don't mind at all?"

Allen only turned redder, "o-of course I do! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat breakfast!" And with that, he stormed off, using only his sense of smell to guide him.

- - -

Kanda had pulled his hair into a low pony tail today, slung over his shoulder where he could see it. He didn't want that idiot Lavi creeping up behind him and start braiding it. He had considered cutting it just to get people off his back, but shuddered at the thought of his long hair gone. After all, he _did _like his hair. Shrugging off his nightshirt, he pulled on a clean one, leaving his uniform on his bed. He knew there wouldn't be any missions for a while, so there was no point wearing it.

Opening the door to leave his room, he paused, eye twitching when he was greeted by Lavi and Lenalee giggling like mad in front of his door, apparently at a retreating Allen Walker.

"What're you two idiots doing?" He muttered.

The two turned and faced him, and burst out laughing all over again. Kanda stood there, his annoyance growing by each second as he waited until their laughter subsided.

"On second thought, I don't want to know," he said and closed the door behind him as he walked away. Much to his dismay, he was followed by Lavi.

"Aw, Yuu-chan! Why was Allen allowed to know your birthday right away and I wasn't? He didn't even ask!" He whined.

"Don't call me that," he muttered, "and because I didn't feel like telling you, got a problem with that?"

"Not at all! But I'm wondering why you felt like telling Allen?"

Kanda paused.

"Why do you care?" He snapped, hoping to chase the red head away. He entered the cafeteria, ignoring Lavi's prodding about the issue, ordered soba, and sat down. Allen was just a few tables away from him, eating huge amounts of food in an inhuman rate. A couple finders sat beside him, and Kanda watched as Allen spoke with great enthusiasm, making Kanda wonder why Allen didn't talk to him like that. He frowned, guessing it was because he snapped at him every chance he got.

"Yoo-hoo! YUU-CHAN!" He blinked, seeing Lavi's hand waving in front of his eyes.

He turned to the red head, snarling, "_what_?"

"You kind-of blanked out for a moment, are you okay?" Lavi had caught the dark haired man staring at his dear little white haired friend, but decided not to point it out. He would just deny it and threaten him.

"I'm fine, now if you would leave me alone, I'm going to train." And with that, Kanda got up and left the cafeteria, not noticing the smirk upon Lavi's lips.

_'Aww.. Yuu likes Allen! I'd better go tell my partner in crime about this,' _and he went to go find Lenalee.

- - -

Allen politely excused himself from the conversation, finishing his breakfast. He had noticed Kanda enter the cafeteria, and was disappointed when he left as quickly as he came. He decided to spend the rest of his time figuring out what to get Kanda for his birthday, and went to the training room. A couple of female finders passed by him, and he heard bits of their conversation.

"_Oh my god! _Yuu Kanda! Did you see him?"

"I swear, that man is a _sex_ _god!_"

Allen blushed at their words, realizing that Kanda was probably in the training room that the girls were just gawking at. As predicted, the Japanese man was there when he pushed the doors open. Glad that the swordsman was blind folded, he took a couple seconds to watch a little. Sweat was evident on Kanda's chest and face, his long black hair sticking to his skin. The cursed boy was right about Kanda having the perfect body, noticing his well developed muscles that were accented by the sweat. He noticed a tattoo on his chest, and was slightly captivated by it, the only flaw that Kanda had was perfect as well. He was, dare he say it, _beautiful. _

Not wanting to disturb him, Allen quietly grabbed a chair and moved to a section far away from the swordsman. He grabbed the edge with one arm, and swung his legs up high in the air, balancing on it. He closed his eyes in concentration, feeling his muscles straining to keep balance. He lowered his body, and pushed back up again with his arm. His mind swam to Kanda's birthday again.

_'What does Kanda like..? He likes quiet things, and things that are useful, and things that don't annoy him. I don't think he'd want an alarm clock. It's useful, but its noisy and annoying. Maybe he wants a nice rock garden to relax in. The Black Order already has one of those though, and I have no idea how I would be able to get him one anyway...' _ His brow furrowed in frustration. He had lost count in his push ups but mentally shrugged. He would just do this until he couldn't anymore. _'Maybe he wants more soap for his hair... I wonder where he gets it.'_

Allen's eyes shot open when felt his balance on the chair cave. He let out a cry and fell to the ground. "What the.. hell was that...?" he rubbed the spot on his head where it hit the floor, and looked up when he saw two pairs of legs beside his fallen chair. "Kanda...?"

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I _was _training." Allen realized Kanda had probably pushed the chair down.

"How is balancing on a chair half naked, training?" Kanda was mocking him, he knew.

He twitched, "how is wearing a blindfold and waving your sword around, training?" He shot back. But he knew that training while blindfolded was great for strengthening your senses. The man above him snorted and rolled his eyes, "go back to your _training, _idiotic Bean-sprout."

"It's Allen, jerk."

"Moron."

"Bakanda."

"Midget."

Allen got up, brushing himself off then taking a deep breath, "...I was wondering..." he paused, "what kind of gifts do you like to receive?"

Kanda looked surprised for a second, before a smirk formed on his lips, "why? You want to buy me something for my birthday, Bean sprout?"

"N-No! The ..uhm, others were wondering!" He lied.

"Tell them to ask me themselves."

"W-Well, you see.." Damn it. He couldn't think of anymore excuses. "I was.. wondering, too." He huffed in defeat, avoiding Kanda's eyes.

"Che." Was Kanda's only reply.

Allen stood there, staring at Kanda and waiting for him to continue. He sighed when Kanda didn't add on to his 'che'. "Well? Are you going to tell me?"

"The only gifts I like are the total opposites of you, Bean-sprout," he replied harshly. "Things that are sweet, annoying, stupid, and totally pointless. Those are the things I don't want. I hate them." Allen opened his mouth to speak, but Kanda cut him off.

"-I hate things that are like you. You cry too easily and you're too soft when you're supposed to be following orders. You let personal feelings get in the way of your job. You're way too naive. I mean, come on. You think people are good when they're all selfish, greedy idiots." Allen blinked a couple of times, feeling tears sting his eyes a little. He regretted asking him. He knew Kanda hated him, but it still hurt to hear what Kanda thought of him in such details. Kanda seemed to be finished, and the white haired turned away from him. Somehow, he wished Kanda would've been joking about it all, but Kanda never joked.

"O-okay.. I'll try to.. f-find something... that ..." He felt his voice shaking, and immediately shut his mouth. He didn't want to cry in front of Kanda especially after what he said. Propping the chair back upright, Allen grabbed his shirt and walked out of the training room. As soon as he got out of those two doors, he slumped against the wall and wiped the forming tears from his eyes. Timcanpy came fluttering by and landed on his head, nestling in the white strands. He knew Tim was trying to comfort him, but it felt like the only one who could make the pain go away, was Kanda. Which was pretty stupid because Kanda was the one who caused it in the first place.

He sighed, deciding to go to the market to find Kanda's gift. Even if Kanda hurt him, he was still determined to find him something. It _was_ the bastards birthday, after all. He stood back up, and let Timcanpy lead him to his room to grab his coat, a determined, yet sad expression on the cursed boys face.

- - -

Kanda sat down, frowning. He hadn't missed the look of pure hurt etched on Allen's face. He hadn't missed the crystal tears that appeared in the corners of the younger boys eyes. Why in the world did he feel so... so _bad_? His actions were confusing him lately. First, he lead Allen up to his room after telling himself that he wouldn't give a crap if the boy got lost or not. Second, he wanted Allen know that his birthday was soon. And third, he felt bad for hurting his feelings. It was true - he hated everything about that boy. But he didn't know why he cared so much about something he detested.

Grabbing his shirt, he pulled it on and left the training room, determined to find the white haired boy. He didn't know what he would say to him, but he sure as hell wouldn't apologize. Maybe he _was_ pretty stupid for not thinking before talking? He knew Allen was too soft and cried easily, yet he said such harsh things. He knew he shouldn't really care if Allen was hurt or not, didn't he hate him? Nah... he didn't hate the stupid boy _entirely._

"Hi Yuu-chan! Looking for Allen?" Lavi questioned, Lenalee was beside him, smiling knowingly.

"Yeah, have you seen that stupid Bean?"

Lavi and Lenalee looked to each other, smiled, then looked back to the dark haired man, "he went to the market."

Kanda frowned, brushing past the two. Was Allen looking for a present for him still? The thought tugged at his conscious a bit, making him feel even more guilty, but yet warmed his heart. Allen was being sweet; and he hated it. Stepping through the doors and out of the Order, he walked in the direction of the market, hoping it wouldn't be too crowded. Allen had a natural talent for getting lost, and when he was lost, he wandered around too much, making him even _more _lost. The thought made him twitch with annoyance.

It was a nice day out, the first one in weeks, and the market was -to Kanda's disappointment- loaded with people. It was a shame he didn't bring his uniform, people would've stepped back in fear or respect or whatever if Kanda wanted to get through. Pushing his way through the crowd, he kept his eyes open for white hair.

- - -

Allen sighed, trying not to bump into anyone. He didn't bring Timcanpy because someone might've grabbed at it or thought it was something to buy, and he didn't want to have it stolen. Cross would've had his head. He had gone into many different shops and stands; sword shops (but Kanda didn't need another sword), food stands (because he was hungry..), and even some clothing stores. There didn't seem to be anything around that screamed 'KANDA WANTS THIS' or 'KANDA WOULDN'T KILL YOU FOR GETTING HIM THIS'. Stopping by a Jewelry shop, he paused. Maybe Kanda's liked jewelry? He always wore that white beaded bracelet. Shrugging, he went inside.

His eyes widened at how sparkly it was inside. Kanda probably liked pretty things, so he took a long look around. He had never been so picky in his life. He was never picky with food, because if he was, it would be difficult to eat the amounts he needed. Cross had never really asked him what he liked, and would just give the food to him, so he had to take it for leave it. He didn't really care what he wore, as long as it wasn't sloppy. Gifts usually came easy to him. His eyes narrowed. It was probably so difficult with Kanda because Kanda didn't really like anything.

He paused, coming across the blue jewelry. There were rings and necklaces and bracelets and Allen wasn't sure which kind of jewelry Kanda liked best. So, he decided to get one ring, one bracelet, and one necklace. '_Let's see...' _He scanned each necklace with his eyes, looking for something that Kanda might like, and came across one with a silver chain and a blue gem, with white and pale blue beads. He picked it up, sighing. It was the only necklace that seemed to suit Kanda. The others were _too _fancy or something that Kanda would think was a waste of a beautiful jewel.

The rings mostly all had huge gems, and Allen was briefly reminded of Cross. Cross had worn many rings on his fingers that had huge, sparkly rocks on them. He stopped, staring at one that had really tiny, -to his relief- blue diamonds embedded in the silver band, forming a small, blue rose. He picked that ring up, and smiled to himself. It seemed to suit Kanda very much, even if he might not like flowers.

Looking to the bracelets, he frowned. Kanda already had one, and probably wouldn't replace it with the one he got him, but he might as well try. He spotted one that looked very much like the one Kanda had, the beads were white, except there were little, dark blue diamonds engraved in each one, forming little Japanese symbols. He didn't read Japanese, but he was sure Kanda did. Taking the bracelet, he took the three pieces of jewelry up to the merchant.

"Ah! Hello young one! Getting gifts for a special someone?" The man winked, and Allen smiled nervously, a light blush upon his cheeks.

"I-It's for a friends birthday..."

"Ah! I see," the merchant wrapped the jewelry up and placed them in a decorative box, tied with a midnight blue ribbon. He seemed to be surprised when Allen paid the full price of it all, with a smile. _'Geez this must be one rich kid...'_

What the man didn't know, was that Allen had stocked up on his funds by playing poker the past week. He had made thousands of dollars on each game, so he was pretty wealthy at the moment. Taking the small box, he smiled, "thank you very much, sir!" The man nodded at him, and Allen left the shop.

He put the little box in his pocket, hoping that Kanda wouldn't completely hate his gift. Maybe it would be too feminine for him...? He sighed, _oh well. _

Making his way through the crowd, his eyes narrowed a little. The people were pretty aggressive today, probably because the shops were all having sales and such. "A-Ahm, excuse me.." he kept muttering, bumping along. A man brushed past him roughly, knocking the white haired boy down. Allen winced, rubbing his now bruised shoulder and suddenly squeaked when his toes and fingers were stepped on. He was surprised when a hand was held out in front of him, a kind gesture that was rare in a place like this. Blinking and looking up, his eyes widened at the tall man who stood above him now, his hand outstretched to the fallen boy.

"_K-Kanda...?"_

- - -

Kanda cursed. He had almost accidentally stepped on five children, bumped into two elderly women, and chopped the head off of a pmsing sword merchant. He twitched, recalling the mans annoying claim that Kanda had stolen his stupid fucking sword. "_Hey, you! Give me back my sword! I don't remember selling that to you!" _It made Kanda want to run back there and punch him again, because it was _his _sword and the thought of Mugen in the hands of some merchant made him want to kill someone.

He _hated_ the market.

And now the stupid Bean-sprout was on the ground getting stepped on because he couldn't stay up. He glowered down at the younger boy, impatiently waiting for him to take his hand. Allen took the hint and grabbed it, being pulled up.

"What are you doing here?"

Kanda had to think of an excuse, he couldn't say that he wanted to apologize, because he had never apologized once in his life. "I was taking a walk, idiot."

"In a .. market place? You can barely walk around in a place like this!"

"Shut up."

A sly smile crept upon Allen's lips, "were you looking for me?"

Kanda shot him a glare, "come on, lets head back to the Order." He suddenly grabbed Allen's hand and led him through the crowd of people, not wanting to lose him. He glanced back quickly, smirking to himself when he noticed the younger boy blushing and staring at their hands. He had to admit, his normal hand was pretty soft.

As usual, the walk was pretty quiet, and even though they weren't in the market anymore, Kanda still held onto Allen's hand. He didn't really feel like letting go, even if the stupid Moyashi told everyone in the Order.

"A-Ahm... Kanda?"

He turned his head, facing the white haired boy, "what is it, old man?"

Allen puffed his cheeks up at the nickname, "I-I was wondering... oh, never mind."

"Tell me," Kanda murmured, getting curious.

"You'd just say no, anyway." Allen looked away, trying to end the conversation.

"Try me."

"No."

"Moyashi..." Kanda narrowed his eyes, squeezing Allen's hand a little tighter as if warning him.

"What?"

"Tell me," The dark haired swordsman stopped walking, staring into the boys eyes, a stare that he was sure Allen couldn't escape from.

"F-Fine! I was.. just wondering ... why you wear that bracelet?" He questioned, pointing to Kanda's wrist.

The swordsman lifted his wrist, glancing at the white beaded bracelet. Continuing to walk with Allen at his side, he sighed. Glaring at the younger boy, "why did you have to ask that question, Bean?"

"Because I was wondering, and you told me to."

Kanda silently cursed, "fine. I wear it because I like it."

Allen felt a smile spread across his lips, his face beaming with happiness, and a bit of laughter. The doubts in his heart immediately were lifted, but then he wondered if Kanda would like the particular jewelry Allen had picked out. Kanda noticed this, and lifted his eyebrow at him.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing!" Allen smiled toothily at him, then quickly looked away.

Maybe, Kanda would be pleased with him just this once.

- - -

As soon as they two arrived at the Black Order again, Allen went back to his room, and Kanda probably went off to train again. The white haired paced around his room, pondering on how he was going to give the gift to Kanda, when he was going to do it, and if there was anything to include with it. Maybe writing him a card would be okay? A sudden, random thought of pink stationary and love-laced words to write to Kanda popped in his head. He blushed immensley, _'what kind of a thought was that!? My goodness... If I wrote such a thing to Kanda, he would kill me! And I'd lose my dignity...' _Not that he ever _would _write him a love letter.

It would be nice to frame a picture of their friends, but Allen had no such picture, much to his dismay. He could picture Kanda throwing the picture away immediately, saying he didn't need framed memories in his room. He _did _have a gift for him, but to Allen, it seemed so small and didn't mean as much as he wanted it to. He frowned, what _did _he want his gift to mean to Kanda?

Leaving his room, he didn't notice Lavi pass by him, hearing him mutter about love letters and pictures and _Kanda _most especially. "Hey Moyashi-chan!" He immediately grabbed Allen, grinning from ear to ear.

"It's Allen..." He wearily corrected.

"You want to write a love letter for Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked eagerly, knowing Allen was a terrible liar.

Allen stood there, for a moment, blinking. His face turned a brilliant red, and his mind raced, as he thought about it. He didn't love him! He hated Kanda.. didn't he? At least, that was what he thought. Maybe he liked him as a friend now? Or a good friend? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that this was the longest time he had been thinking about agift for someone.

This was the most he cared about what someone else thought of him.

In fact, he had been thinking about this for quite some time now. A couple months perhaps? He had been thinking about Kanda more and more. Little things Kanda did that was good, made his heart flutter. Little things that Kanda did bad, hurt him badly. Every little thing. Allen didn't know what this feeling was, but it made his chest sometimes feel strangely nice, and sometimes it would hurt a lot. It confused him.

"I-I .. _what_? H-Hell no! No way i-in hell! I don't love K-Kanda!" Allen fumbled, thinking of how pathetic he must've sounded.

"Heehee! You do _so, _Allen Walker!" Lavi laughed, grabbing the younger boys arm, "let's go write that love letter!"

"H-Huh? W-Wait! Lavi-san! D-Don't!" The white haired boy was dragged away, probably to the library, desperately trying to convince Lavi that Kanda would literally kill him.

- - -

Somewhere, off in the woods, a lone swordsman stopped what he was doing, letting out a big and random _ACHOO! _He sniffed, rubbing his nose and pulled off his blindfold, looking around him. Someone out there was talking about him, he knew.

- - -

Allen and Lavi were sitting at a far table in the library, the white haired boy blushing and staring at his hands as Lavi preached to him about love letters and the different kinds, while grabbing a couple books about the subject of love. No matter how many times Allen tried to convince Lavi that he didn't _want _to write a love letter, his fanboy-like friend kept on babbling about it.

"SO! Do you want it to rhyme? Or do you just want to drabble about your love for Yuu! Or perhaps write about everything you love about him!"

The cursed boy was silent for a moment, and he raised his head, his face becoming serious. "I hate everything about him, yet... I-I think..." The blush returned to his features, "at the same time... I think... I ... love him.."

Lavi smiled at Allens confession, patting his head, before he spoke up again.

"I hate his attitude, yet I don't want him to change. I hate how he looks at me, but I don't want him to stop. I.. hate how he hurts me all the time, and yet I still want to be near him... what... w-what is wrong with me, Lavi?" He held his face in his hands, as if something terrible just happened. The red head sat down beside him, "I think... you're confused, Allen. You know you're in love with him, but you don't know what to do, right?" He saw Allen nod, and smiled, "let's get to work on this love letter."

The white haired sighed, making a mental note to burn the letter as soon as it was finished, there was no way in hell he would give such a thing to that cold hearted man. He frowned, he didn't want to get rejected and mocked for his... preferences. Lavi babbled endlessly as Allen grabbed a pen, and scribbled nonesense on a sheet of blank paper. He had no idea how to write one of these letters, and blushed timidly when Lavi looked over his shoulder to see what he had written.

"No no no! These words are all copied from text! Do you truly think that these are the words from your heart?" Lavi dramatically raised his head to the ceiling, "write from the heart!"

Allen shrunk in his seat, "b-but.. I never wanted to write this in the first place! I-I .. It's true that I care for Kanda but... do you honestly think that he's the type to get woo'd by words on a sheet of paper?"

Lavi grinned, "so would you rather woo him with your words in person?"

"N-No that's not what I meant! I-I mean..." he sighed, looking down at his hands again. "I don't want him to think badly of me, I don't want him to hurt me any further. I can't keep these feelings in any longer, that why I told you, but I don't think I can tell _him_! Don't you think, it's better to just ... love him from afar? Secretly? He doesn't feel the same for me, I'm sure. He's probably into girls with long, pretty hair, and beautiful eyes and cute faces... ones that he isn't annoyed by, you know? I can just love him in my dreams, it's been that way for awhile, I'm sure I'll live. I don't want to ruin that little shred of friendship we have now. If I take that risk, it can turn out very badly, or very well, most likely very badly..." he plopped his face flat onto the desk, murmuring, "I.. love him too much to ruin things."

Lavi, who had been secretly penning down every single word, sighed, "what if he feels the same, then? You'll never know unless you try!"

Allen lifted his face up to frown at the one eyed boy, "...I don't want to try."

"Yes, you do!"

Allen sat up, sighing, then looked to Lavi's hands. His mouth gaped open, "you recorded what I said!"

"Yep! You're sure a sap! It's cute, though, Allen-chan!" Lavi handed him the piece of paper, and Allen read it over, noticing that Lavi had changed his words to be directed at Kanda.

_Dear Kanda,_

_I don't want you to think badly of me, I don't want you to hurt me after I tell you this, but, I think I love you. I know it's better just to love you secretly, but I can't keep it in any longer. You hate me, it's okay, I understand. You want girls with long, pretty hair, beautiful eyes and cute faces, ones that don't annoy you, right? I can only wish that I was something like that. So I could be the one for you. But, I'll love you in my dreams, I've been doing it for some time now. I don't want to ruin this little shred of friendship we have now, so if you don't feel the same, please burn this letter. I love you, too much to ruin things with you..._

_ Love, Allen._

Allen blushed, glancing at Lavi, "had I... really said it like that?" He was dumbfounded at how sappy and how it really, kind-of spoke of his feelings out on paper. Lavi nodded, grinning toothily at the white haired boy.

"I-I... think I know how to write a love letter now..." Allen murmured, then grabbed the pen again and started to write on another piece of paper. The red head across from him watched as Allen poured his heart out onto that sheet of paper, his brows furrowing in determination. _'I hope Yuu isn't an idiot! He better not refuse what he wants also!' _He looked into the negative side of things, and thought of Kanda being too afraid of his own feelings to take the next step forward, and instead, crushing Allen. But, Kanda might _wanted _to be happy too, so maybe he would be smart and make them _both _happy, instead of both miserable. Lavi was sure Kanda liked Allen.

Allen had finished his love letter in a couple hours, after many different copies that didn't quit seem right, and practicing to make the writing neat, he finished it on a fancier piece of paper with dark silver ink.

"Look here, Allen! I took pictures of some cute moments before with you and Yuu-chan! Choose one and let's frame it, too!"

The white haired next saw a pile of photographs dumped in front of him, all of which, were photo's taken by Lavi of himself and Kanda. He blushed, in every single photo, it was either Kanda looking at him, or Allen looking at Kanda. He smiled to himself, _'Maybe... I might have a chance...'_

- - -

Kandas fingers drummed on the window sill, his mind unsettling. He had been thinking a bit too much lately, too much about a certain white haired boy. It pissed him off. Whenever he trained, he thought of Allen. Whenever he ate food, he thought of Allen. Whenever he slept, he thought of Allen, and would sometimes dream of him, and the first thing he'd wake up to was a thought of Allen. It drove him insane!

He hated that stupid boy. Everything about him, he detested. Looking to the lotus beside his bed, he sighed, thinking what it would be like if he were to live longer. If he were have a normal, long life. Would it have been with Allen? He frowned. He hated people because they always wanted to become attached and make friends. They had no idea the pain that would come if someone were to die. Kanda's fate was to die early, and he didn't want anyone mourning after his death. _'Especially Allen...' _Frowning at that uncontrollable thought, he sat down on his bed.

He had finished training for hours, and now there was absolutely nothing to do. Maybe he could just ... sleep for a bit. Perhaps that would clear his mind of things, and he would just have to wait until his birthday tomorrow. His mind wandered to Allens gift. _'I wonder what that stupid Bean-sprout got for me... He couldn't of just gone to the market randomly, he hates crowds.' _Kanda had noticed that when they went on missions. He would hide behind Kanda slightly, trying to avoid people's gaze at his white hair and the curse mark scarring the boys face. It probably didn't bother Allen much, since he ignored it, but nobody liked it when they were the center of unwanted attention.

Closing his eyes, and falling onto his bed, he sighed. _'That stupid Bean Sprout, on my mind again...'_

-EndofPartONE-


	2. IMPORTANT NOTICE

Regarding this fanfic : The Day my Darling was born.

* * *

I apologize.

I will not finish this fic.

I still love this pairing, and such. But I have lost the will / reasons to continue this fic. Reasons are too personal.

I hope you all forgive me, those who wanted to read more, and those who expected to see more.

I just, cannot finish this.

I am sorry.


End file.
